[19 Nov 2008|09:32am] sissani Mmmm two days off in a row...  Nonstop WoW with my Twacie and an endless supply of strawberry milk. Could life get better? 2 comments|post comment

[18 Nov 2008|07:23pm] _knowyoulive [acidic_x_eyes] Anyone believe in miracles? 14 comments|post comment

Hi Everyone... [18 Nov 2008|05:16pm] _knowyoulive [object_lesson] So I've been on here for a couple of months but haven't posted yet. I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Phoenix, and I'm from California. I've struggled with SI for almost six years now, since I was thirteen. It's been an on again off again thing. For a couple of years I was entirely clean, but last year I started slipping up every once and awhile. I felt like once I fucked up once, I could do it again and again. I think the main thing in my life that keeps me from completely going back into the addiction is my girlfriend Caitlin, whose also a recovering SI addict. I have to think about how I'd feel if she hurt herself, and know that she'd feel that same devestation and betrayal and hurt if I did the same thing. It's a tough but constant reminder of all I have to lose. I think the last time I cut myself was over the summer, but it's been a hard couple of months. I've been ridiculously stressed out and my self esteem has dropped considerably in the last few weeks. I always enjoy reading people's stories on know you live, it makes me feel less alone, and like I have people who struggle every day the same way I do. I randomly contacted a member over the summer becuase I was desperate to talk to another SI addict, and she helped me a whole lot. I'm going to start posting so I can give back to the comminuty, and gain support. Thanks for listening. 1 comment|post comment

[18 Nov 2008|09:53am] _______thesex The skies above are blueMy heart was wrapped up in a clover the night I looked at you UPDATE--HOOTER'S!!This is part two of my birthday weekend.There's not text, so just enjoy the snap shots.I give photography credit to: Ryan and Jerlyin! ( I found a dream I could speak to--A dream I could call my own ) 26 comments|post comment

[17 Nov 2008|10:28pm] _knowyoulive [yoursforever_me] 2 comments|post comment

Resume writing [17 Nov 2008|04:05pm] _knowyoulive [naughtyvix] I'm trying to write my resume, something I have put off for more than a year since I graduated, something I didn't think about because the thought of it kept me up nights and made me want to run in to oncoming traffic. Now I'm trying to do it, I've gotten as far as educational experience and I want to cut so bad it isn't even funny. I have this piece of glass that I usually use and I put it away because I thought I don't need this any more but now I just want to find it so bad, so I really need some words of encouragement please. I feel so horribly needy and childish right now. 4 comments|post comment

[16 Nov 2008|09:37pm] _______thesex Let's just say I'm slowly losing my mind.I don't know anything. I need to pay more attention. 5 comments|post comment

New. [16 Nov 2008|05:53am] _knowyoulive [nchloe]  Hi everyone! I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Niki 1 comment|post comment

Last day of Academy [15 Nov 2008|06:11pm] sissani [ mood | bummed ] I got to do a Schnauser trim... and the dog was really bad.  I had to muzzle her and doing her entire lower body - legs, sanitary and skirt - in 20 minutes (petsmart policy that we dont muzzle more than 20 mins).  And then she started biting when I was holding her up to shave her back.  I almost cried because I didnt know what to do.  Then she was perfectly fine for her face... and I cut her ear!  I had to run her over to Banfield and take a break to cry in the bathroom.  It wasnt too bad but I'm really down about it.  I feel so bad and stupid and incompetant and all that... I just feel horrible. :(( post comment

[11 Nov 2008|10:14am] sissani Only FOUR more days left of Academy.  Then I start my field practice. And once I have done 100 dogs, and have pictures of my work on five specialty cuts, I will be a CERTIFIED PETSTYLIST!! I'm essited. 1 comment|post comment

CBT? [11 Nov 2008|01:16pm] _knowyoulive [eponine254] Has anyone here had success with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I've been doing some research and it looks like it might be helpful... I'm going more for stress, depression and social anxiety than for SI itself, but it all links up. Has anyone here been to a CBT before? Any success? Anything I should know before going? And on a slightly-humorous side note, the irony of social anxiety is being too scared of the phone to call the therapist. Ha ha. 5 comments|post comment

[10 Nov 2008|12:35pm] _knowyoulive [xxhintoftearsxx] I feel like I have absolutely nothing to live for.... yet I know that I have so, so much. I have amazing friends, an amazing boyfriend, and soon, I'll have a university degree. Yet I feel like I have no reason to keep trying.... I'm just a selfish fucking bitch. I need to get over myself and grow up. 1 comment|post comment

[09 Nov 2008|09:58am] sissani [ mood | cold ] No pictures please!! lol Me and Tracie at Sahara Friday night. Worked all day yesterday and it was a good day. Did my first Bichon and did a good job. Actually wasnt as much scissoring as I thought it would be and as much as Gabi kept making me afraid it was going to be. It wasnt too bad. I just find I'm getting more easily frustrated with uncooperative dogs. Wiggley dogs I just cant deal with anymore... not like I used to. For some reason bitey is no problem. But wiggley pisses me off more... I think because I want to make the haircut perfect and the wiggling makes it hard to impossible to do that. But I'm a perfectionist so I want to give the pet parent the perfect result.. it just doesnt work. So thats definately something I need to work on. Tracie tells me I need to calm down because my work usually turns out good reguardless. *shrug* I'm enjoying it and I'm glad I got into it. Tyler (Gabi's husband) took my laptop a week ago and looked at it and actually said its not busted in the impossible-to-fix way that everyone thought. He said I may just need a new - specific - power cord. So he's going to get me the info and its going to cost me about $80. But thats a lot better than the hundreds I thought it would cost me to get a new motherboard or whatever. So I may actually get my laptop working again!! And then I could play WoW side by side on the bed with Tracie and get together my ipod and get to writing again!! 'Twould be awesome. Both Tracie and I are off today... She fell back asleep but I'm up so I'm checkin myspace and lj and stoof. I'm gonna go play wow a bit and wait until she wakes up. post comment

"If you have a dick, stay away!" - Carrie [08 Nov 2008|10:36am] sissani [ mood | cold ] From the Halloween party last Friday. ^.^ So we all went out for Tiffany and Becky's birthday last night - we went to Sahara again. The belly dancers didnt show and the service was HORRIBLE. But it was otherwise a very fun night. I covered Sam so she could go, and Deanna brought her new boytoy Lauren (not sure how its spelled, but yeah, a dude named liked the girl), and Sarah came too. She left early but the rest of us stayed and I got backlava while Carrie, Becky, Sam and Tracie shared a hookah. Tiffany and Deanna got in on it a bit but it was mostly Carrie, Becky and Tracie, those druggies lol. I was dead tired by the time we got home. I'm so happy - tomorrow Tracie and I get another day off together!! :D post comment

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